Tahnya is a Certified Financial Planner and former Investment Advisor turned marketing and communications professional She holds a degree from Concordia University, is debt free and currently works in the field of digital marketing.
Good morning Dinks and Happy Friday. This week I saw The Lion King live in theatre and I have to tell you – what an amazing experience! Have you seen it? I love going to watch live theatre and Disney does theatre like no other.
Good morning Dinks. Last night my boyfriend Nick and I met up after work to hang out and have a date night. Do you want to know what we did? We went to look at apartments. Yes that is our new romantic thing to do, walk the streets of our city and visit potential apartments for our upcoming move on October 1st.
Don’t get me wrong, we had a lot of fun exploring new cities and grabbing a bite to eat at restaurants we’ve never heard of. But walking around for three hours after you’ve worked from nine to five all day is absolutely exhausting. When I was in my 20s I thought our relationship would get more exciting as we grew older together. Never in a million years would I have thought that date night in our 30s meant being home (and exhausted) by 8 pm. Yet here we are.
Money and dating in our 20s
Isn’t it funny that in our 20s we didn’t have any money to spend on extravagant dates so we had to settle for coffee dates or a nice afternoon walk in the park. Now that we’re in our 30s, have two full time incomes (knock on wood) and properly manage our money we don’t actually spend any money on date nights. Instead we spend our evenings planning the next phase of our life together. And you know what? That’s 100% OK with me.
Of course I would love to spend our weekends taking road tips and our evenings at the theatre, but that’s just not where we are. I was talking about this with my sister and she said “I completely know what you mean.” My sister has a single friend who always asks her to go on vacation and my sister – who is also in a long term relationship and lives with her boyfriend – always politely declines. My sister – who is also in her 30s – would rather spend money on her home and make an extra payment on her mortgage than spend money on a vacation.
This is 30
In our 20s we date to search and find the perfect mate and in our 30s we go house hunting on dates. Is this it? Is this where life has taken us? Maybe it is, maybe in our 30s romance means planning our lives together whereas in our 20s romance is about having fun and feeling butterflies in our stomach.
I don’t expect my boyfriend to come to our apartment door with flowers every Saturday night to pick me up to go out on a date. I’m not even sure if you can say we’re dating after all these years.
What are date nights like in your 40s?
A woman at my office is in her late 40s and has been married for 25 years. To celebrate their quarter of a century wedding anniversary her husband planned a night out on the town with tickets to a drag queen show. How awesome is that? I think the way we date says a lot about our lives.
In our 20s we are broke and don’t care because we just want to have fun. In our 30s we settle down and start planning our future. In our 40s we are comfortable in our ways and spend our days enjoying the life we’ve created with our spouse.
Can’t the same thing be said about the evolution of our money. We go from having no money in our 20s, to accumulating it in our 30s and then to enjoying it during our 50s into retirement.
P.S. as a bit of a follow up on this, date nights are one thing, but you also need to have a solid basis for communicating as a couple. The writers over at Debt Free Guys have a nice solid write up about how to approach communication when you don’t want to talk about money.
Good morning Dinks. Do you remember not so long ago when I was super excited because my boyfriend finally agreed to open a joint account…finally after all these years together. Well I’m sad to say that after three months our account is still empty. I never would have given this a second thought except the subject of our joint account recently came up in a conversation and my boyfriends reaction actually hurt my feelings.
Join expenses need a joint account, right?
I am not one of those girlfriends who always wonders if my boyfriend loves me and reads too much into everything he says or does, after 15 years I would expect a little more from myself. However I’m only human and as much as I would love to live in a world without emotions (because they complicate things), sometimes my feeling do get hurt.
You may remember that we are moving next month and our next four paychecks are unneeded because the rent in our current apartment is already paid in full. Since my boyfriend is in charge of paying our rent I suggested that he put all our extra money in the joint account over the next few weeks, because we have yet to use it.
Should every couple have a joint bank account?
I thought it was a good idea to use our joint account because as of October 1st we will have a lot of joint expenses such as the firsts month’s rent in our new apartment, the cost of furniture to fill our new apartment as well as moving costs. So it only makes sense that we store all the money for our new expenses in our not-so-new joint account. However my boyfriend disagrees.
What does it say about our relationship if my boyfriend doesn’t want to keep any money in our joint account? I know, I know I’m being one of those needy girlfriends who I hate, but I really don’t know what it means.
The first question I had was why would my boyfriend agree to open a joint bank account if he didn’t want to use it? We only opened a joint bank account because I felt that a couple in their 30s who have been together for almost 15 years should have a joint bank account. I should have known this was a mistake because in 2007 this is the exact reason why we bought our car and that was my biggest financial mistake to date.
What does this REALLY mean?
After many days of analyzing the situation internally – because I don’t want to let my boyfriend in on my inner narcoses – I decided that my boyfriend is just not used to managing our joint account. We have been managing our money separately for a long time and it may just take some getting used to for him to welcome this new account into his monthly money routine with open arms.
What do you think? Could that be the reason or is it just the easiest explanation to make myself feel better? Nick and I have always been open with our money but we have always managed it separately. Is this new account putting commitment pressure on Nick that he is just not ready for or is it a sign that my boyfriend doesn’t want to move forward in our relationship?
Good morning Dinks. As you may remember I am a financial planner. When I first received my designation I was so proud of my accomplishment. I would tell anyone and everyone who would listen, I wanted to shout it from the roof tops. But that was in 2007, now seven years later I keep my profession a secret and here’s why.
Two nights ago (against my better judgement) I went out for after work drinks with coworkers. I actually don’t like going out after work because I like to come home and relax, plus I usually have a ton of freelance writing work to do and to top it off we are still apartment hunting. But Tuesday night I went out.
I love being a financial planner…while at work
When you go out after work to local bar in the business the odds are you or your co-workers will run into someone you know from a previous job. The safest question to ask when you first meet someone at an after work social gathering is “What do you do?”
Since the market crash I no longer tell people I’m a financial planner because it always sparks an unwanted conversation so now I just tell people that I work in digital marketing for an investment firm – which is true. Sometimes I tell people that I’m a personal finance blogger – which is also true; it just depends on the crowd.
Everyone wants free advice from a financial planner
When I tell people my profession is a financial planner not only does it always spark a conversation about where I think the markets are headed and what investments I think are the safest bet, it always starts a conversation about personal money habits. I am not sure why people think I can solve their money issues within five minutes of meeting them, but it happens to me all. the. time!
In May I was catching a flight home after spending an extra long weekend in New York City with my family. As I was going through customs I told the officer the exact amount of money I spent and the details of all the items I bought; I also offered to show him the receipts from my purchases. I guess this extreme money organization was a little bit out of the ordinary because the officer laughed and asked me what I did for a living. I told him that I was a financial planner and he said “Oh that explains it. No I don’t need to see your receipts.”
The subject of money is something we all have in common
As he scanned my passport he continued to make polite conversation with me and asked what he should do with all his money. Whenever someone asks me that question I don’t want to be rude – especially if my ability to get back into the country rests solely in his hands – so I politely say “That really depends on your personal investment style and your spending habits.” Usually that shuts down the conversation, but not with this guy.
He proceeded to tell me that U.S. Customs Officers make over $100,000 a year, it’s taxed at a minimum rate and his housing costs are completely paid for by the government while he is stationed up here in Canada. He is also single and has no one to spend his money on so he’s saving it in a bank account and has plans to return home to the U.S. within the next four years. That’s a lot of personal and financial information in under five minutes.
Happy Friday Dinks. As you read this I am at work counting down the hours until I can leave at noon. My office has this perk during the summer months called Happy Fridays that allows us to leave every second Friday at 12 pm. So as of noon today I am only working half a day and I will be spending the afternoon watching the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.
Yes that’s right I am going to relive my childhood by going to see a new CGI version of one of my favorite childhood cartoons. Have you seen it yet? Feel free to leave your thoughts below and I promise not to read them until after I get home from the movie.
Have a great weekend and enjoy these great posts from our friends:
Wise Bread – The 7 Dumbest Big Purchases People Make
Good morning Dinks. Yesterday I witnessed a heated argument between two co-workers in my office. As I sat at my desk (a cubical with high walls) I could hear these two women having a disagreement about how to pitch a presentation they are supposed to work on together and have ready for our team meeting next week. It got me thinking, is the right time and place to be having this argument?
How to deal with unwanted co-workers
I didn’t know it at the time but apparently the bad blood between these two women goes back way longer than just yesterday afternoon. Apparently they’ve been feuding for several years. Now let me tell you, I’ve had my share of co-workers that I didn’t care for, but never have I actually got in a fight at the office.
Usually when I don’t care for a co-worker I just stay away from them and smile in passing. I’ve never actually had to work with someone that I didn’t like. However based on what I heard yesterday I have to say that working with someone you don’t care for must be extremely awkward and uncomfortable – it can also hurt your career.
Do you like your co-workers, should you care?
I told my best friend about the argument in my office and she told me “The biggest mistake I ever made was making friends at the office.” I started thinking she was right. Why do we have to friends with our co-workers.
Of course getting along with the people you work with makes the day go by a lot quicker. It must be hard to work in complete silence all day because there is no one you like enough to have a conversation with. But at the end of the day having a job is not personal, it’s just business.
Collaboration can help you get promoted
We don’t necessarily have to like the people we work with, but we do have to work with them. It may be hard to get promoted if you’re known as the office grouch. This brings us to the age old questions of “How social is too social for the office?”
On one hand we may not want to be forced to attend after-work parties and social events, but on the other hand isn’t that a great way to network? We may not want to be known as the office gossip or social butterfly but knowing what’s going on could help us learn about promotions. So where do we draw the line? Maybe it’s when it comes to our money.
I don’t mind being social at work because it makes the day a little more pleasant, but if having a friendship with someone affects my pay check then I’ll have to cut them off. I will collaborate with a co-worker that I don’t like if it makes me look good and helps me advance in the workplace. But if I get to choose who I collaborate with, of course I would pick someone I like. It just makes everything easier if you can work with people who are easier to get along with.
Have you ever had to work with someone you don’t like?
Good morning Dinks. I’m not talking about our normal day jobs, although I’m sure some of us have great stories about all the things we have to put up with to get a regular pay check. But I’m not talking about all that – it’s a whole other discussion. I’m talking about all the outrageous things you’ve ever done for money.
I’m hoping no one is going to tell us that they’ve done anything illegal or crazy like robbing a bank (we know that doesn’t work, remember?) or hijacking a casino a la Ocean’s Eleven. I’m talking about anything and everything we would do to get a few (or a lot) or extra dollars in our pockets.
Having extra money is never a bad thing
I was reading the side hustle series on my friends blog over at Budgets Are Sexy and to be honest the stories were both shocking and comforting. As you know I’m a hustler. I work 40 hours every week at my day job and I put in another 20 to 30 hours into my freelance writing business. Why? Well to tell you the truth (without sounding like a total douche bag) I love money. After reading the side hustle series it was great to know that I’m not crazy. It’s comforting to know that other people get their hustle on too!
I’ve always had more than one job, ever since I was 16. Before I started freelance writing I worked in a lingerie store, at McDonalds, in a kids clothing store, sold candles and I even tried to get a part time job at the cable company so I could get my TV, internet and home phone at a discounted rate.
Would you sell sex for extra money?
If I didn’t have a boyfriend and had the courage to do so I think my new side hustle would be selling sex. Not the dirty, street corner kind, but the legit, clean five star hotel kind of sex. I read the Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl trilogy and it really opened my eyes as to how prostitution can really be a business.
I mean these women had penthouse apartments in Manhattan, private personal trainers, vacationed in the south of France and paid taxes. All they had to do was get an A list clientele and they were making a six figure income. It’s a totally respectable occupation when you treat it like a profession.
Would you pick through garbage for extra money?
This is 100% a true story. There’s a lot of money in recycling. I know you’re probably thinking about homeless people recycling cans at the grocery store, but it can be so much more than that. It’s not by any means glamorous and there are no added perks such as getting your lingerie at half price or eating Big Macs for free, but collecting recyclable goods will put some extra money in your pocket.
I have a friend who used to stroll around her neighbourhood on Saturday and Sunday mornings picking the cans and bottles out of recycling bins. No joke she made $50 in two days from recycling. Not bad for a weekend. She always said “The great thing about recycling is you can make as much money as you want.” And she’s right. If you want to make more then you have to walk around more and put in more hours. But an extra $50 a week was good enough to fill her car with gas – and it’s tax free.
Would you gamble to make extra money?
While I’m sure we all try our best at our normal day jobs to make money, including making tips and doing extra hours to save a few more pennies here and there, this extra money has the potential to be multiplied. I know some people who budget a certain amount every paycheck for their gambling hobby, whether that be going to a physical brick-and-mortar casino, or online live dealer games, table games, or slots. Personally, I enjoy placing a bet and the thrill of winning any low or high-stakes bet. While this can be a risky endeavor, that’s all a part of the fun, entertainment, and excitement. Lately, I have been online for my betting and I have made sure to check out and review the latest online slots as a way to make some extra money. It’s always important to find a reputable casino if you’re entering your bank details online, and setting limits to suit your needs.
They say that marriage is through good times and bad. I believe that’s true if all things are equal, but what happens when your status, income and accomplishments vary in a marriage? With inequality is there bound to be jealousy too?
Maybe jealousy is not the right word, maybe resentment is more adequate. But resentment sounds so negative and no one said that being jealous or resentful of your spouse is a bad thing. It’s only negative if you let the feelings take over the love in your relationship. Otherwise jealousy can just be a motivator to work harder, make more money and get on equal ground with your spouse.
Does one of you make more money?
I am thankful that my boyfriend Nick and I make approximately the same income, even though we work in completely different industries. We are both university educated and have been working since graduation.
Overall I’ve been working longer than Nick because I started working at 15 years old and he only started working after graduation. Nick’s family is definitely better off than mine and throughout college I was definitely jealous that he didn’t have to work but I did.
Having money makes life a little bit easier. Nick was lucky that his parents could afford to provide for him during college. He didn’t have to work and could therefore concentrate 100% on his school work. I worked full time during my four years in college and my grades definitely suffered because of it.
Does one of you have a more beneficial career?
I am thankful we are a dual income household, because I know some couple’s aren’t so lucky. However I have to admit that Nick’s job is a lot more flexible than mine. In IT he has the option to work from home whenever he wants, as long as there are no client meetings at the office. My job in digital marketing is the total opposite. We have to be at the office and can only work from home if need be.
I love the flexibility that Nick has with his job and I actually believe it’s a major advantage with his employer. Some employers don’t like their employees to work from home (looking at you Yahoo) because they think they will slack off, when in fact as an employee I can say that the total opposite is true.
If I could wake up at 9 am every day and start work I would be better rested than when I have to wake up at 7:30 am to get ready and commute to work. I would also appreciate my job a lot better if I could work from home because I’m more comfortable in my own space. It may be weird not to have to get dressed in office clothes everyday but I think I would prefer it.
Are you jealous of your spouse’s family?
As a child of divorce I have to admit, even at 33 years old, there are days I wish my parents were still happily married. Nick doesn’t have this problem because his parents have been happily married for over 35 years. New spouses and step families make life complicated and unbearable at times. I definitely wish my family was still in one piece.
Good morning Dinks and Happy Friday. See that picture up there? That’s what I wish I was doing this weekend, but I’m not. We are still looking for a new apartment. We’ve been apartment hunting for almost two months and a lot of the apartments we’re seeing are available September 1st, but our lease is up October 1st.
So here’s our dilemma…do we leave September 1st and move on labour day to get out of our noisy, tiny apartment ASAP or do we wait it out an extra 30 days and move October 1st? Here are our options: pay double rent because it might be worth it to get away from our noisy neighbour or do we try to rent out our apartment on Air BnB to make up some of the lost rent?
Have any of you used Air BnB? How was your experience?
Enjoy these posts from our personal finance friends:
PT Money – 10 Tips to Become an Expert Credit Card Travel Hacker without Getting Into Trouble
Wise Bread – This One Thing Will Get You to $1 Million (Tax-Free!)
Money Crashers – 9 Ways to Avoid Lifestyle Inflation – Spending Less When You Earn More
Afford Anything – We Bought House #5. Here’s a Behind-the-Scenes Look – Including the Numbers.
Dough Roller – 22 of the Best Tools to Manage Your Money
Good morning Dinks. As you know I started a new job back in February. Since then two other new people have joined my team. To say the new personalities on my team are interesting would be an understatement, the man is extremely official – like Army trained official and the woman is a pain in my butt know it all.
Make your new job a little bit less awkward
Each and every day I hear and watch the new employees make mistakes as they try to integrate into our already awkward team. I can honestly tell you that it’s not working. It just makes everyone laugh uncomfortably and roll their eyes in frustration. So what do we do?
I know it’s not easy, but when you start a new job it’s important to make an effort to get other people to like you because you have to work together. It’s not personal, it’s just business. Team members don’t have to like each other, but they do need to work well together for the greater good of the team. I would love to give them some advice about trying too hard but that’s just not my place – so I’m going to share my thoughts right here.
I work on a creative/technology team so we all pretty much just keep to ourselves. We do say hello to each other in the morning and exchange pleasantries at 5 pm when we leave but other than that we all just listen to our iPods during the day. I don’t consider myself as a social butterfly but I’ve had a lot of jobs in my 33 years so I feel I have a really great understanding of people.
If you want people to like you at your new job don’t do this:
Ask for favors. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: work is a professional environment, it’s not personal. The new woman on my team always asks for favors and she’s only worked there for a month. I smile and listen to her request but I really just want to remind her that we aren’t friends so why would I do her a favor. I’m sure she’s just trying to be nice but I just can’t help but think that favors are for friends.
Try to make changes. It’s OK to ask questions at a new job, but if you want to incorporate well into your new team it’s never a good idea to question their current methods. I absolutely understand that new employees want to prove themselves, but trying to change the ways a team is currently working is just not the way to do it.
Share too many personal experiences. The new man on my team is always coming around talking about his family and what they did on the weekend. I understand the need to make a connection at a new job. However this man has to understand that asking how your day was is just a formality, I don’t really want to know. This is partly because talking about his family takes time away from my work and it’s also partly because he has three kids and I don’t really want to talk about children.
About Kristina Tahnyak
Good morning Dinks and Happy Friday. This week I saw The Lion King live in theatre and I have to tell you – what an amazing experience! Have you seen it? I love going to watch live theatre and Disney does theatre like no other.
