Good morning Dinks. I recently went home to visit my family and friends and I spent a day catching up with my best friend from childhood. I have known her almost my entire life, I think we met when we were 6 and now we are both 33. We’ve stayed friends all these years because we have a lot of things in common even though I left my hometown at 19. We share a love for scary movies but a hatred for zombie movies, we both enjoy being outside as often as possible, we both still prefer paperback books to downloads and neither one of us wants to have kids.
My best friend is more passionate about not having kids than I am. We are both proud that we’ve made the decision not to have kids, but trust me when I say our parents are equally disappointed in us and as we get older it gets worse. I was explaining to her that I thought there would be a time when my mother would just accept the fact that she wouldn’t have any grandchildren (my Dad has made his peace with it) but that’s not the case.
Maybe dinks are the new nuclear family
My best friend just laughed and told me she has similar conversations with her mother. Despite the pressure from our parents I noticed that more and more couples are choosing not to have kids. I only have one friend who is married with a kid. All my other friends are single or in a childless couple. Maybe we are the new normal.
My mother’s criteria has downgraded from being married, to having kids out of wedlock to adopting. Yep that’s right my faithful catholic mother no longer believes I need to be married to have kids – that’s how bad she wants to be a grandmother. Every time I talk to my mother about not having kids I see the disappointment on her face and I think to myself, should I be having kids?
Every time my best friend sees a child screaming in Wal-Mart she says it’s reason 215 not to have kids. Well at least I think she’s up to 215 by now, it’s a game we’ve been playing for a few years. We both love travelling and packing up our things for a last minute road trip. Can people with kids do that? I’m not sure, maybe they can.
So I started asking myself, what are we missing out on by choosing not to have children?
Online success. Have you seen the mommy community? It’s outrageously popular. If I had kids I would have a whole new niche to write about, share with and engage in. I don’t read a lot of mommy blogs unless they relate to money. I’m always curious about how families manage their money.
Someone to grow old with. Whenever I tell people that I don’t want to have kids the initial question is always “Why?” After we get through all the reasons why I don’t want to have kids such as I’m selfish, already set in my ways and it’s a huge financial commitment, the second question I get is “Don’t you want to have someone to take care of you when you get old?” In my opinion that’s just not a good enough reason to make a lifetime commitment to having kids.
Do you think we are missing out on anything by choosing not to have kids?
Photo from Flickr