Two single people merging into one new DINK couple requires an adjustment by all parties involved. Not only will the couple have to adjust their new day to day habits; they will also have to adjust to new spending and money management habits as well.
Young DINKs don’t have a lot of assets built up yet so the adjustment from single to DINK may be easier. However, the merging of assets becomes a more complicated situation with older DINKs; this is the current situation with my Dad. If you are in your 20s or 30s, it is possible that (like me) your parents are divorced.
My parents divorced 17 years ago when I was 16, and for the last 9 years my Dad has been living with his fiancée Victoria. My Dad moved into Victoria’s house 5 years ago, and the home has always remained in her own name. She refuses to change the home into both of their names, even though my Dad has contributed to the monthly expenses, (forced) renovations, and home upgrades over the last 5 years. It is possible that Victoria had a messy first divorce and she is now taking percautions with my Dad. Of course in life we should learn from our previous mistakes. However, there is a time in everyone’s life when we have to let go of past baggage and move forward into the future.
I say forced renovations because they were forced upon my Dad without his input. Victoria decided to renovate their home for her daughter’s wedding, and then she gave the bill to my dad to pay half. Yes, I agree that he does live there; and yes, I agree that (maybe) the renovations needed to be done. However, HIS daughter is not getting married. I don’t understand why my Dad should pay for renovations for someone else’s daughter’s wedding. In general, renovations are usually done over a period of time, not all at once, and at someone else’s cost.
When singles merge into a DINKS household how should the finances be divided?
Victoria also decided one day that she and my Dad needed new kitchen appliances for their home. They never spoke about this major purchase prior to the day when Victoria (once again) gave the bill to my Dad and demanded that he pay half. My Dad was shocked, to say the least. Of course, my Dad didn’t have a budget for this type of huge expense. Not only did my Dad not have a budget to purchase these new appliances, but he also didn’t have time in his schedule to wait for the new appliances to be delivered. This was an unacceptable answer for his finance Victoria and she flipped out in an angry rage when he said no. My Dad couldn’t stay home between 8am and 12 noon to wait for their new appliances to be delivered because he had a prior engagement…lunch with his favourite daughter (me). This is not hearsay from my Dad; I witnessed this ridiculous and childish behaviour with my own eyes.
If you had a second chance would you manage your DINKS Finances differently?
(Photo By Jinterwas)
Kristina Tahnyak
Tahnya is a Certified Financial Planner and former Investment Advisor turned marketing and communications professional She holds a degree from Concordia University, is debt free and currently works in the field of digital marketing.
Wait. Why are they still together?
This question doesn’t apply to me but I found the behavior your described astounding to the point where I don’t know why anyone would put up with it.
I honestly don’t know why my Dad is still with her, but I wish he wasn’t. I also have absolutely no idea why he puts up with her behaviour. Trust me, this is just the beginning, I could go on for days about her immature behaviour. She is very selfish and never thinks that the rules apply to her. I guess my Dad puts up with it because he’s 56 and he doesn’t want to be alone. Although I know he could find someone else…someone new…someone better for him than her.
I’d say that BF and I are working out having our finances together in terms of a budget (ion separate accounts mind you), but before we buy ANYTHING, we discuss it with each other. IF we need a can opener, we each know we need one and we pay it.
If it was something large like what you mentioned above, we would have discussed it, discussed the price, shopped together and then paid half/half.
I have a feeling that you’re right — your dad puts up with her because he doesn’t want to be alone.
If we hypothetically had a situation where it was not my kid but it was his, he’d pay for them, and I’d pay for mine, and so on. I wouldn’t pay a half for a kid who isn’t mine, although it’s hard to say if I were a good stepmom I’d want to help.
That being said, we don’t have kids at all, hence being DINKs :)