Part of marriage is supporting each other in sickness and in health. As little as anyone would like to think about it, this also should mean in death. The emotional and financial support that you provide for your spouse now should also extend beyond your life.
Taking time to define this is part of sharing a healthy and supportive relationship. Of course, this is the very adult approach that using reason over emotion. Most people would just rather avoid the fact that we will all eventually pass on.
Considering my imminent departure to Afghanistan, these are some of the things that we have to consider. We certainly avoided for as long as we could, but eventually managed to sit down at our local Starbuck’s and discuss.
Here are some of the things that we considered in making up both of our wills:
- What manner we would like to be disposed of
- Where we would like to be disposed of
- What percentage will go to our spouse and what percentage for family
- Who we would like to pass on jewelry to
- Do we want more life insurance – double my salary is provided by my work
- Do we want kid-napping insurance while I’m abroad
Obviously not your best Saturday afternoon conversation, but it was actually quite a relief to just work out some of the details and know what the other would like to fulfill their wishes.
By taking the time now to discuss these issues we will better be able to support the possible remaining spouse during a very difficult time. Having them know your wishes can take a lot of stress off of them to make decisions on your behalf. Making sure that you are in a financial position to ease any possible burden and allow for your spouse to maintain their current lifestyle makes a significant difference.
I was chatting with my grandmother last night and she reminded me of what it was like for her to deal with the deployment of my grandfather on military tours of duty. As it happened, he was killed flying over the Philippines in the run up to the Vietnam war two weeks before his scheduled return date.
This left my twenty-five year-old grandmother with my then, ten year old dad and eight year old uncle. She said that having a letter from him delivered to here made a great deal of difference in dealing with the grief and moving on.
While we certainly wish long and prosperous lives to all of our readers, we also believe that it is good for everyone to consider taking care of ensuring that a will is in place.
Best wishes,
Miel
Readers: We would love to hear from readers with more experience or tips on what to make sure is included in a will. Thanks!
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