Making friends in your 30s?

by Kristina on January 20, 2014 · 3 comments

Good morning Dinks.  We are at that time in our lives where we are trying to find our place in the world with friends, family, money and work.  As young, enthusiastic employees we are always looking for the next big thing – at least I am.  But what happens when you leave your comfort zone to start over, how do you adjust? I am not one of those people who has had the same group of friends since I was a teenager.  Actually I only have one friend from my childhood who I still keep in contact with.  I am also not a person who really likes to be around other people all the time.  I have a couple of friends who I hang out with on a regular basis, but in general I don’t have a lot of acquaintances who I spend time with having drinks after work. Who are your friends? I always liked it this way because I was so busy with my day job and my freelance work that I could barely find time to spend with the friends I already have.  But as I start to work less and enjoy my life more, I am finding that I have a lot of free time on my hands with nothing to do.  Yes of course I live with my boyfriend Nick but it’s the NFL playoffs, so we aren’t seeing too much of each other on the weekends right now.  The truth is that sometimes being alone is lonely. If you are in your 30s, 40s or 50s can you honestly say that you want to make new friends? If so, how do you do it?  Many young adults find their friends through work, but in all honestly that doesn’t interest me at all.  I don’t want to hang out with people who are just going to complain about their jobs all day, because that’s depressing and I am trying to make positive changes in my life.  I also find that when we make friends at work we have a hard time branching out to other subjects and I don’t want to spend my nights and weekends talking about work. Are your friends like you? We tend to hang out with people who share our interests, so without sounding totally self centered I definitely want my friends to be just like me – when it comes to money, education and culture.  This means that I want to be friends with someone who is responsible, who is preferably in a relationship, who likes to travel and has an open mind and of course who can afford to do so.  Is that too much to ask? Last week I went to my friend’s birthday party and to my pleasant surprise sitting across from me at the dinner table was another young finance professional who shared my dislike for children and my passion for being outside.  We exchanged phone numbers and went for a walk together yesterday.  I don’t think that we will be lifelong friends, but it’s nice to have a new person in my circle of contacts.

Do you tend to hang out with the same friends or are you looking to make new ones?

Photo by JDHancock

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 JK January 20, 2014 at 1:04 pm

I’ve struggled with finding a solid group of friends in my late 20s and now 30s. This year I took the plunge and joined my local Junior League chapter and couldn’t be happier. While there are some financial requirements to join, it’s worth the cost. Not only do you gain access to a group of women that are interested in making new friends, you are working collectively to improve your community. That’s a win-win in my book.

2 Taz January 21, 2014 at 12:45 am

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