Good morning Dinks. As we all know there are many differences between men and women, from our spending habits to our views about what’s important it’s clear that we may just be from different planets.
On our recent vacation to Niagara Falls I learned about another very important difference between men and women – shopping. Maybe money views between men and women are due to the fact that men have a tendency to be more aggressive while women tend to be more conservative. Or maybe money management styles differ between men and women because women like to be in control and organized while men have a more “go with the flow” attitude…whatever that means.
Men and women and money – why are we so different?
My boyfriend Nick and I spent a day shopping at outlets during our recent vacation to Niagara Falls and to say that our experience was very different – even though we were in the same place, doing the same thing – would be an understatement.
My boyfriend considers shopping to be the activity when he goes into a store and buys something new. As this may be the actual definition of making a purchase, the experience of shopping is so much more for me. I could spend a whole day browsing through stores, trying to find the best deal and people watching.
Shopping for a whole day doesn’t mean that I spend more money than my boyfriend, it just means that it’s more of an experience rather than just a task to complete on my to do list for the day. Shopping is a very enjoyable experience for me. I could go “shopping” every Saturday even though I don’t buy anything. My boyfriend only goes “shopping” when he needs something.
Do you shop with your spouse?
Nick and I have been together for many years and it’s not the first time that we have gone shopping together. Although everything in our daily lives is pretty much separated. We have individual banking and we do our groceries separately, it bothered me at first but now I actually prefer it that way.
We have needed new dishes for some time now, actually for a very long while. We found a home deco store at the outlets and we decided to go in and finally make the commitment to buy new dishes. We both liked the second set of dishes that we saw and they were on sale so my boyfriend picked up the box to bring them to the cashier so we can pay and leave.
I wanted to continue browsing throughout the store to see if we could find a set of dishes that we like better or find a new set of dishes at a better price. My boyfriend rolled his eyes at me and said “but why? We already agreed on theses ones.”
We agreed that we both liked them but we didn’t agree that they were the best. In my boyfriends eyes if you like something then you should buy it, but I believe in shopping around for the product that we like the best or for a product that we like the second best but at the best price.
Help me out here. Who do you shop like – me or my boyfriend?
Photo by andrewarchy
I definitely have FOMO – always want to look for a better deal in case we miss out.
I approached shopping like the Terminator.
I go in, approach my KNOWN target, complete the transaction as quickly and robot-like as possible, and leave.
The exception is groceries, I can meander for hours in the grocery store because…food and samples!
My wife and I shop together quite often. We both have similar styles (quite like your boyfriend’s style), so it works out well. I go shopping to buy something. If I don’t find something I want to buy then I consider the trip a waste. I’d much rather be doing something else.
Before we got into budgeting we used to go shopping together all the time. It was a activity to get us out of the house. It also caused us to spend money when we didn’t need to. Now we try to only go shopping together when looking for specific things. The hard thing has been transitioning to doing more actual things together! Sometimes it feels like we are dating again which I think is good :-)
While I tend to shop similar to your boyfriend, I definitely agree that it is best not to shop with ones’ spouse.
James shops only when necessary (they once flagged is credit card for suspicious behavior when he spent $187 in a day). When he does go shopping he, often wants my support, but then wants to be done with it. So the moment his list is checked off, he wants to be out of there.
On the other hand, our last trip to Costco was a nightmare not to be repeated. Me, wanting to bee line through the store with a list, and him wanting to stroll through every isle. Enough to drive me crazy, fast!
I’d have to say he is good about giving solid opinions on clothes, so I’ll often ask him about something if I’m in doubt after getting it. I still advise shopping separately. I can’t even shop with friends, as they want to shop, and I want to find something specific.
Good to know what works for you!
Miel
I think that my boyfriend and I will keep our shopping trips together to a minimum, at least for now that is. Thanks for reading everyone.
As a dude, I shop exactly like your boyfriend. I’m on a direct path to whatever I need when I go shopping. I don’t go shopping unless I need something. However, like your boyfriend, I rarely look for a used alternative. That’s the bad side of me that I’m improving upon.
My suggestion to you: Try to talk over the “goal” of the shopping trip before heading to the store(s). If you can suggest an alternative prior to getting there, maybe he will be inclined to go with your idea instead. Also, don’t sabotage him by taking him to the mall when he doesn’t need anything. ;)
The Warrior
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