My father is getting re-married next year. Although I am less than thrilled about his decision, at the end of the day it is his choice.
This past week I had a conversation with my Dad about our joint finances and his new family. I politely reminded him not to forget about his original family while he is busy planning his new family. My soon to be step mother has a lot of financial, as well as emotional baggage that she brings into the relationship with my Dad. She has 2 adult children who are both older than my sister Tara and I. They are both financially dependent on their mother, even though they are in their late 30’s and early 40’s.
I currently have a joint bank account with my father, and he is a joint beneficiary with my boyfriend Nick on my life insurance. I am rethinking my current life insurance beneficiaries as well as my joint account with my Dad. If something should ever happen to my Dad, I don’t want the money to go to his new wife. Mainly, I don’t want her to get the money because I feel she is money hungry and controlling and possessive. But mostly, I don’t want my estate money to go to my Dad’s new wife because it will support her two adult children.
How can I ask my Dad about his will without seeming that I am only concerned about his money?
My soon to be step mothers name is Victoria, and she is weird about money. She and my Dad definitely have different financial strategies; and they do not see eye to eye when it comes to money. She is very well organized in her daily life, but very irresponsible with money. My Dad is the type of person who will offer someone $20 if they need it without asking to be repaid. However, Victoria will only lend someone money if the repayment arrangements are signed and dated. My Dad often buys household items and never demands repayment. However, when Victoria buys items she insists that every single dime be repaid on time.
She is obsessed with money, and with winning. I feel that if something ever happened to my Dad we would be in a fight over his estate. She feels that she has the right to everything which is totally untrue. She may be his current girlfriend, but Tara and I are his family. Victoria is the kind of person who would disobey someone’s final wishes if he benefited her financially.
How can I tell my Dad I don’t want money going to her without directly showing my disapprovement for their upcoming nuptials?