Good morning Dinks. Let me ask you a question, is money ruining your marriage? Or yet here’s a better question, does money make your marriage stronger? I think it could go either way. I keep hearing that most marriages end because of money conflict and I absolutely understand that. Nick and I used to argue about money all the time when we first started dating, but that’s because we had no money and we were only teenagers.
It’s completely normal to have different views on money
That’s the thing about being broke, it’s already stressful and the thought of one wrong move completely wiping you out adds on a whole other level of stress that no one can understand unless you’ve been there.
Today we are starting a series about financial advice tips for a happy marriage. If you have a money tip for couples, a conflict in your relationship that you’d like some help with or a money recommendation for newlyweds send me a message on Twitter because I’d love to hear it.
I could talk about money in my relationship for hundreds of thousands of words, but that would be a book. Instead I’ve decided to work through the issues here on Dinks Finance in a series of posts about how couples can find happy ground when it comes to money and their relationship.
The key is to work through conflicts effectively
When Nick and I don’t see eye to eye on something related to money we talk it out. The absolute worst thing you can do is just say O.K., keep quiet and harbor resentment. This is what I used to do because I didn’t want to be a nagging girlfriend. However I’ve learned to express my concern in a constructive way without yelling or saying things I know I’ll regret later.
That being said when Nick wants to spend money on his own personal items such as a $70 Mercedes Benz baseball cap imported from Germany or yet another pair of wireless speakers I keep my mouth shut. Of course I think the purchases are ridiculous and a complete waste of money, but I never tell him that.
And that right there my friends is how to find money happiness in a marriage. You can talk about spending when it comes to joint expenses and household costs, but when it comes to individual purchases each person has the right to spend their money however they want to.
Managing money is a learning experience
I used to think merging finances meant we each gave our own input on every penny spent, but that’s just not true. It’s very common in relationships that one person will be a spender and the other will be a saver; although it may seem frustrating it can actually be a good balance.
The saver can manage the household finances to make sure expenses and monthly bills are paid on time. The spender can give a little nudge every now and then to ensure the couple is enjoying their money – and their time – together. It’s a perfect match.