Good Morning Dinks. Yesterday I met with one half of my favourite bank couples. I have a couple of clients who deal with our bank branch for both of their individual personal finances as well as their retirement and estate planning as a couple. The two men, who for confidentiality reasons we will call “Adam” and “Mike”, are two of the nicest and most charismatic men whom I have ever met. They are well travelled, well educated, and well spoken. There is a slight age difference between the two men of 10 years but nevertheless they both appear to be on the same page personally, professionally, and financially.
Adam and Mike have been together for almost as long as I have been with my boyfriend Nick (13 years) and just like us they are also not married. Yesterday I noticed (for the first time) a gold band on Adam’s ring finger and my first instinct was to ask if they had got married since the last time I saw them. Adam told me that they hadn’t got married and that the ring was merely a sign of commitment. I can definitely relate to that, it’s almost as if people trust you more when you are married. It seems like being committed for eternity to one person makes us more trustworthy.
Adam also told me that they have been together for so long that they both don’t see the point in getting married. I thought to myself…wow this all sounds too familiar, they must own the same “reasons not to get married” book as my boyfriend Nick. Adam said that they looked into the advantages of getting married as a gay couple with a lawyer and they lawyer advised them that there are really no financial advantages to getting married. Adam and Mike are currently recognized as common law partners, they both have a Last Will and Testament which clearly states that they are each the sole beneficiary of each other’s estate.
I absolutely understand Adam and Mike’s point of view, but at the same time there is so much more to getting married than the financial advantages. What about the peace of mind of waking up and falling asleep with the same person every day? What about knowing that you can always depend on your spouse both personally and financially? What about finding someone who makes you a better person, or to reference Jerry Maguire finding someone who completes you?
Why did you decide to get married?
The Advantages of Getting Married
Committing yourself to someone for the rest of your life
If you get married then you get to have a wedding
Knowing that you can live on a Dinks budget and not a single income
The Disadvantages of Getting Married
Your family may not like your spouse and this can cause conflict
Some people may feel like they have to live up to the typical wife or husband stereotype
If you never get married then you can never be divorced
Photo by Shelley Panzarella