Our Parents Estate

by Kristina on October 20, 2010 · 6 comments

heart breakAs you may know, my parents are divorced. As we grow older and our parents reach their retirements, we must start to plan our estates as well as our parents’ estates.  If your parents are divorced, how has their separation affect the way you have planned your estate?

Estates will need to be allocated differently once our Mom and Dad’s aren’t together anymore.  The estate may be divided equally among the children or maybe the new wife will suddenly be written into the will.  If your parents are divorced, have your parents changed their wills to reflect their new families?

I always wondered if my Dad will opt to be buried with his high school sweetheart, my mother; or will he choose to be buried with the new evil step witch? I recently learned that my Dad wants to be cremated and scattered on the grounds of his annual boys camping trip. It is totally my Dad to remain neutral and not choose a side.

As a financial planner I handle a lot of estate settlements. Drafting a Will and keeping it up to date is not only about settling final finances. It is also about any and all last wishes such as the dividing of personal affects, funeral arrangements, as well as sharing parting words to loved ones.

Throughout my years of working in the world of banking, I have seen some really outrageous and very specific funeral arrangements. Of course we hope that our family knows what we would want; however, in my opinion, it’s always best to clearly state our final wishes including funeral arrangements along with colours, music, and personal effects.

One of my clients asked that everything at her funeral be blue.  Absolutely everything, from the flowers to the inside lining of her final resting place.  Another one of my clients asked that all of his photos be displayed from childhood to adulthood along a wall, as if to chronicle his life.

My soon to be step witch (my Dad’s fiancée) has also added some very outrageous clauses into her will. I don’t think that these are her final wishes as much as they are one last power trip over my father.

Here are three clauses from my father’s fiancées will:

  • My father has 6 months to vacate the property. She has always kept the house in only her name. She brings that fact to my dad’s attention every chance she gets.  Get out of MY house, or I can kick you out of MY house is often heard from my soon to be step witch.
  • After her death, my father is not allowed to have any other women in HER house.  Her reasoning for this clause is that she feels it would really upset her two daughters.
  • She states in her will that she wants all the jewellery she has given my father over the years to be returned. Although she will be dead and she doesn’t have any sons, she wants to make sure that my father cannot keep his own jewellery. He is instructed in her will to return it to her two daughters.

(Photo By Suez92)

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jaadyn October 20, 2010 at 11:50 am

Normally, I don’t normally comment on blogs but I have to say, your evil step mom is a bad word that rhymes with runt. I enjoy reading your blog I would like to say and find it really informative and funny. This whole thing with your dad and this lady pisses me off, he deserves better. Those will requests are just mean and really show how she doesn’t truly love him. Just my two cents.

2 John Sweeney October 20, 2010 at 12:17 pm

After reading about your soon to be Step Witch. One has to ask the Question why is your father planning on marrying this women in the first place. What does he see as the upside?Since she is trying to reach out from her grave to exercise one last time to control him. Maybe he should go along with it. He should plan to buy the house and all the personal effects from her. As the last act of a loving spouse he should write her a check giving her fair value for everything and slip it into her coffin right before they close the lid.

3 Donna Freedman October 21, 2010 at 2:21 am

Um….She can’t legally require him to return a gift, can she?
And I also have to wonder what he sees in this woman.

4 First Gen American October 21, 2010 at 6:41 am

That’s just warped. I am amazed that your dad just shrugs his shoulders and ignores these demeaning acts.

5 Kristina October 22, 2010 at 8:02 pm

I honestly don’t understand why my Dad stays with her. It’s beyond my imagination. I’m not sure that he sees anything in her. I just think that he doesn’t want to be alone. I’m also not sure why my Dad doesn’t man up and say something to her. It’s really annoying.

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