Comments on Dual Income No Kids: Wealth Transparency

a) Do you see your friends and family as being tra...

2007-05-30T15:33:00.000-05:00

a) Do you see your friends and family as being transparent in their general financial situation?
They do not intend to be. But, I know what their professions are, their salary ranges, their spending habbits and their attitudes toward retirement. So, I'm confident I could guess their financial situations pretty closely.

b) Do you keep financial secrets, good or bad, from your friends and family?
Yes, for the most part. They don't know how much I made, but they knwo that I contribute to savings plans as much as I can. Most probably think my net worth is under half what it really is.

c) Do you attempt to keep secrets from yourself? No, not really. I do make very conservative estimates of my finances so that I will likely retire with much more money then I plan for. I do try to forget about bad financial decisions, though.

I remember a while ago hearing some stand up comic...

2007-05-28T21:19:00.000-05:00

I remember a while ago hearing some stand up comic talking about this subject.

In the story there was some guy talking to a coworker about how he was really giving it to his wife the night before, and how she was doing this and that.

Then a few minutes later the coworker asked a money related question, and the guy who had just been talking about intimate details of his sex life said, "dude that is personal".

In this country there are 2 things you can't talk about and those are politics and money.

I have noticed that I tend to be very transparent with my money issues. When I get a new job I always tell friends how much I am getting paid. When I am broke due to credit card debt I curse my visa openly.

I share in hopes it will open up communications for people to share their financial situations with me.

I remember a while ago hearing some stand up comic...

2007-05-28T21:13:00.000-05:00

My finances are 100% transparent to my fiance. Ot...

2007-05-28T13:38:00.000-05:00

My finances are 100% transparent to my fiance. Otherwise, my family and close friends know the general details of my financial situation but not specifics.

Great post. I'm fascinated by the extent to which...

2007-05-28T10:09:00.000-05:00

Great post. I'm fascinated by the extent to which my friends and I talk about the intimate details of just about anything except money - politics and religion included!

And yet, it matters: in my experience, the habits that determine (1) your level of formal education, and (2) your personal financial status are the overwhelming factors that keep people entrenched in whatever social class they were born into.

I work in a job where I receive a taxable salary but have no 401(k) or other traditional retirement programs offered through my workplace. For several years, I ignored the whole issue, since, well, noone mentioned doing otherwise. Then one day, I made a model of how much I had to save at what points in my life to ever retire securely, and freaked out. I did an informal survey of friends at my workplace, asking what they were doing about retirement. I got everything from "ah, excellent question: well, I of course max out my Roth IRA every year, and then after that I..." to "retirement? You mean other people around here are secretly saving for retirement already? Why didn't anyone TELL me?!"

And honestly, that's sort of how I felt, too. I had no idea some of my closest friends had well-planned ongoing retirement savings systems. I thought we were all doing the same thing. But in the end, who had retirement plans broke down along the class lines of our parents - and was projecting to put us in very different positions in the future despite the similarity of our current positions.

Since that experience, I've forced myself to discuss money more publicly despite my discomfort with the issue. I've been practicing ways to bring it up in non-personal contexts - eg, "I read this blog post the other day about __" instead of "I just put __ in my Roth!"

I am also a big, big fan of both blogs like this one and sites like www.wesabe.com, which I think help to break down this barrier, as well.

I have some close friends and family members that ...

2007-05-28T09:54:00.000-05:00

I have some close friends and family members that I discuss financial details with; this wasn't always the case but our discussions have grown in the past few years. With my friends we discuss interest rates, amounts, pitfalls, etc. in fairly good details. It's never about bragging, it's always about suggestions and celebrations. I have a family member who bought a house last year, we all heard about it: the cost, the loan, all the details. She wasn't a person who had shared that much detail about her financial situation with me, but it was such a big deal for her that she shared it with the whole family.

Thanks for all the great comments, it is always gr...

2007-05-25T10:40:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all the great comments, it is always great to hear other people's thoughts. Thanks for reading!

Miel

P.S. Yes, I thought the drawing sucked too, but it was the best I could find on google images! Enjoy!

I think it can be very unnerving to some people to...

2007-05-25T03:53:00.000-05:00

I think it can be very unnerving to some people to talk about finances. I was always brought up to never ask somebody how much they make, and never discuss finances in specifics. It's considered very rude to many people.

I think this keeps people distant and not transparent now, since you don't know if the person you're talking to will also be offended.

Plus if you are transparent, it might be likely that you're doing very well for yourself (people with money problems aren't usually the first to talk about them). So then it just seems like bragging.

My brother knows about my blog but doesn't seem in...

2007-05-24T16:24:00.000-05:00

My brother knows about my blog but doesn't seem interested, my girlfriend reads my blog. I know all about my mother's finances because I help manage them and I have a rough idea of my girlfriend's finances. Beyond that, one close friend I have a fair idea - sometimes I give him advice. I don't think there are any secrets. If someone asks me I'll tell them.

i think i'm a little too transparent.and what the ...

2007-05-24T14:28:00.000-05:00

i think i'm a little too transparent.

and what the hell is that sketch? your drawing sucks ;-)

a) Do you see your friends and family as being tra...

2007-05-24T13:02:00.000-05:00

a) Do you see your friends and family as being transparent in their general financial situation?
You know, some of my friends and family are pretty transparent about their financial situation but I would say most of them are pretty closed mouthed about it. I general can tell if they are doing well or badly depending on their attitudes towards certain things. I think we are talk it is rude to discuss religion, politics or money so people don't. Although, I always thought my parents were doing way better than they actually are. Recently my parents took a trip over seas and they gave me all their account information and things like that in case something happened. I thought they had well over 1 million bucks by now, but no, barely half. So in my experience you never really can speculate accurately, so unless some one tells you, you just don't know. I have friends who live like millionaires but they do it all on credit. I bet most people would think that my husband and I are poor because we drive very old but paid for cars, life in a modest townhome, only shop sales, and clip coupons. The truth is we only spend my paycheck every month and save all of my hubby's. We do this because we have bigger goals that awesome cars, big houses, and fancy clothes...but those are the things people often try to judge wealthy by. We are putting our money into stocks and retirement so we can travel and live the good life later.
b) Do you keep financial secrets, good or bad, from your friends and family?
Honestly we do keep "secrets" from our family and friends. I noticed when I was being transparent with my finances this would sometimes get tense with certain people. In some cases in may have been jealousy and in others it ways people wanting to interfere thinking they know what is best for us. For instance, some friends of our are constantly trying to get us to go on expensive vacations, have expensive nights on the town, and raz us for driving old clunkers. Because they know how much we make they feel we are just cheap and COULD afford these things if we wanted to. So if we say we can't do it they get ticked and think we are fuddy duddy's. Because the money is already allocated for something else we truly can't afford it. Its not in our budget. It is much easier for us if people just think we have no money. Only a handful of people know our real status.
c) Do you attempt to keep secrets from yourself?
No, I think we are very open and honest with ourselves and each other.