3 tips to help win people over at your new job

by Kristina on August 7, 2014 · 3 comments

DINKS office

Good morning Dinks.  As you know I started a new job back in February.  Since then two other new people have joined my team.  To say the new personalities on my team are interesting would be an understatement, the man is extremely official – like Army trained official and the woman is a pain in my butt know it all.

Make your new job a little bit less awkward

Each and every day I hear and watch the new employees make mistakes as they try to integrate into our already awkward team.  I can honestly tell you that it’s not working.  It just makes everyone laugh uncomfortably and roll their eyes in frustration.  So what do we do?

I know it’s not easy, but when you start a new job it’s important to make an effort to get other people to like you because you have to work together.  It’s not personal, it’s just business.  Team members don’t have to like each other, but they do need to work well together for the greater good of the team.  I would love to give them some advice about trying too hard but that’s just not my place – so I’m going to share my thoughts right here.

I work on a creative/technology team so we all pretty much just keep to ourselves.   We do say hello to each other in the morning and exchange pleasantries at 5 pm when we leave but other than that we all just listen to our iPods during the day.  I don’t consider myself as a social butterfly but I’ve had a lot of jobs in my 33 years so I feel I have a really great understanding of people.

If you want people to like you at your new job don’t do this:

Ask for favors.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: work is a professional environment, it’s not personal.  The new woman on my team always asks for favors and she’s only worked there for a month.  I smile and listen to her request but I really just want to remind her that we aren’t friends so why would I do her a favor.  I’m sure she’s just trying to be nice but I just can’t help but think that favors are for friends.

Try to make changes.  It’s OK to ask questions at a new job, but if you want to incorporate well into your new team it’s never a good idea to question their current methods.  I absolutely understand that new employees want to prove themselves, but trying to change the ways a team is currently working is just not the way to do it.

Share too many personal experiences.  The new man on my team is always coming around talking about his family and what they did on the weekend.  I understand the need to make a connection at a new job.  However this man has to understand that asking how your day was is just a formality, I don’t really want to know.  This is partly because talking about his family takes time away from my work and it’s also partly because he has three kids and I don’t really want to talk about children.

What really bothers you at your work?

Photo from Flickr



{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Annie August 7, 2014 at 3:07 pm

I agree with you on all three points! I work in IT at a fairly large company and no I don’t want to help you fix your personal home computer/network/laptop, nor do I want to talk about what I did on the weekend because while I’m at work I have work to do. If I did everyone the favor of fixing their home PCs I’d never have any free time for myself. I hope I don’t sound like a selfish grump but I really wish everyone would follow your advice.

2 Anne @ Money Propeller August 8, 2014 at 11:47 am

Not having the whole story, I am kind of surprised at all three of your points actually. I might be interpreting asking for favours as asking for assistance because things are new to you, but that ensures you’re doing a good job, and your team is doing a good job. Also, as a new employee, you can show the older employee respect and that you value their skills and knowledge.
One of the best parts of having a new employee is the opportunity to make changes and improvements. How you go about doing so is the key, but if we all kept doing our backwards old ways with no cross-pollination from new people and ideas, we’d all be doomed to failure.
Regarding personal stories, yes, there is a limit, but are you participating and directing the friendly conversation elsewhere?

3 Mrs. Frugalwoods August 8, 2014 at 2:44 pm

My office is an open environment (all cubes, no walls), so for me it’s co-workers who don’t respect the open space! Loud conversations, personal phone calls everyone can overhear (awkward) and butting in on discussions about projects that people aren’t involved with. It’s an ongoing battle here in the open space :). That’s nice that your office is relatively quiet during the day!

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