Money after a divorce

by Kristina on July 16, 2014 · 0 comments

money after divorce

Good morning Dinks.  Today I want to talk about how our money habits have changed over the years.  People change for a variety of reasons such as adopting a new lifestyle, relocating to a new area and a milestone or life event.  When it comes to our money the same thing is true.  Sometimes our money management style changes because we grow up or experience a life changing event such as a divorce. If you are divorced or watched your parents go through a divorce have your money habits changed?

Maybe your money style is more aggressive post divorce

My parents have definitely changed how they each manage their money since the divorce.  My mother now spends less money on clothes and now she also controls the family finances, I don’t remember that growing up.  My mother keeps a tight leash on how she manages the family money with her new husband.  I am not sure if they have joint accounts, but I do know they both bank at the same financial institution.

As a child I remember my mother spending money all the time.  On clothes, shoes and toys for us.  Now that she looks back at it I’m sure she agrees that spending money on material things probably wasn’t the best idea when you have a family of four to feed.  Both my parents came from big families with no money so they were happy to spend money when they both landed well paying full time jobs and had two full time incomes.  I don’t know because my family never talks about the divorce, but I am sure my parents financial problems were a big contributing factor to their divorce.

Or maybe your money style became very passive

My dad’s money management style is completely opposite from my mother’s – surprise, surprise after all they are divorced.  He takes a more laid back approach to his finances.  I think my dad is over the days of arguing with his spouse about money so he basically lets his new wife buy whatever she wants and he writes her a check for half the amount.  My dad and his new wife don’t have a joint account, but if she wanted to I’m sure he wouldn’t object.

I don’t agree with this money management style because I think there has to be an agreement on how a couple manages their money.  My dad doesn’t own anything in his relationship yet he pays for half of everything.  Their car, apartment, home phone and house insurance are all in his new wife’s name.  He has no legal right to anything and that’s just not right, but he’s not man enough to do anything about it because he doesn’t want to fight about money.

We need to find a money balance in a couple

My couple’s money management style with my boyfriend Nick is somewhere in between my parents.  We keep our money separately but we manage it together.  I don’t tell him what to do with his money and he doesn’t tell me what to do with mine.  However we do discuss all purchases that relate to our home and all purchases that affect each other.  I would never buy something for our home without his input and expect him to pay half; I hope he would do the same.  I think that’s just disrespectful and that’s not how we run our relationship.

Photo from Flickr

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