Money Make Up or Financial Break Up?

by Kristina on August 4, 2010 · 6 comments

It is said that money is the root of all evil. As a Financial Planner, I settle all of the estates in my branch.  I have seen with my own eyes that money does, in fact,  bring out the worst in people.

Today, we are discussing the two main components that make up DINKS Finance. Today, we are discussing our relationships and our money.

Money is a very common reason for people to get divorced. Money can be stressful.  With the financial crisis over the last few years, times have been tough for a lot of families. People have lost their homes, and their jobs.  I am sure that finances have caused some friction in a lot of relationships.

What do you and your spouse fight about?

Nick (my boyfriend) and I don’t fight about too many things. We are close in age, and we have similar interests.  When we do disagree about something, the root of the problem is always indirectly related to money and our finances.

One thing that we definitely do not agree upon is sports. Nick is obsessed with everything about sports.  I personally do not see why sports fans have to watch a pre game show about what they think may happen in the upcoming game, the actual game, and then the post game show that discusses everything that just happened.  What a waste of time! I could think of 5 other things that I would rather do in those 5 hours than watch sports.  Not to mention the extra monthly costs to our monthly satellite bill. We have every single Canadian, American, and European sports channel package that exists with our satellite company.

Another thing that we really don’t see eye to eye on, is entertainment. I love to go out, and Nick prefers to stay in. This is the great thing about being in a couple. When my spending gets out of control, I have my loving and sensible boyfriend to bring me back down from my financial cloud 9.

Relationships are about compromise.

But, compromise shouldn’t be costly. When you disagree with your spouse about money, who makes the final decision?  When Nick and I disagree about money, the person who wants something that the other person does not want, pays for that luxury. Nick pays our monthly satellite bill, because if I were single I wouldn’t have that expense.  When I go out with my friends I use my sole owner account, not our joint money.  How do you and your spouse split your joint monthly bills?

Photo By TheWelshPoppy

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Honey August 4, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Money does bring out the worst in lots of people. The translation of that quote is actually “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.”

We split the rent according to income, every other bill 50/50, and we’re on our own for buying things we want for ourselves. He pays whenever we go out (because he can afford it and I can’t).

2 Tim August 5, 2010 at 12:35 am

I disagree that money is the root of all evil or that money brings out the worst in people. Instead, it is people’s misplaced notions of what money “can” represent. Money isn’t the problem, it’s the crutch. Every day I listen to NPR about the gulf oil being thus far successfully capped, and then I hear all the angst in people. You would think people would be happy or hopeful that the oil has stopped gushing, but I cannot shake the tinge of, “oh crap, we just lost our lotto ticket” that seems to permeate in the interviews I hear. It’s what the money could represent like not having to wake up laboring long hours shrimping, etc.

What’s my point? We ought to be honest with ourselves and those around us. Money cannot be honest, it is a medium for purchasing goods and services. Relationships aren’t about purchasing goods and services, so why do we burden money to balance our relationships? For my wife and i, money is white noise as are expenses, etc. Money is used to pay for things that are a part of life and functioning in our society, it isn’t the driver of our relationship. I for one do not want to live my life defining a relationship as a medium for purchasing goods and services.

3 Kristina August 5, 2010 at 7:53 pm

Looking at money as white noise is an excellent relationship strategy. It puts the focus on your love and not the material goods. However, money is usually not stressful for those who have it.

I like that Honey and her boyfriend/husband share their expenses based on income. That is a fair agreement. Keep in mind that one day your income may be more than his, and you will become responsible for a larger portion of the living expenses.

The love of money is the root of all evil. I definitely agree! We always want more than we have…greed and expectations can bring defeat and disappointment.

4 Honey August 6, 2010 at 12:14 pm

He hates his job! Even though it would be financially inconvenient for me, I’d love it if he took a lower-paying job that made him happier :-)

5 Tim August 6, 2010 at 8:43 pm

I disagree that money isn’t stressful for those who have it. Take a look at all those celebrity divorces that are nastily about money. I think people “think” that if they had that kind of money, there would be no problems; however, this is misguided since people still have problems even if they have money. I think there are also different expectations among folks that have money (just look at Gates and Buffet calling up other billionaires to donate their fortunes to charity).

i dislike the notion of people dividing up their relationship according to their respective incomes. Puts too much focus on how much each person makes and creates a static division where there ought to be none.

6 suzan March 24, 2012 at 10:14 am

Several months ago when my husband said that he wanted to breakup, I was devastated. changed my life and helped me save my marriage. I’m happy to say we finally got to be together and I’ve never been happier. Thank you for using your powers to bring happiness to other people’s lives. suzan

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