Comments on: A 50/50 Relationship

By: Same Job. Different Money. | DINKS Finance

Same Job. Different Money. | DINKS Finance — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 13:26:16 +0000

[...] is personal and different for everyone. As you may recall I previously told you about two of my colleagues who started dating and married men with money. Of course I would like to think that my colleagues [...]

By: ichimunki

ichimunki — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 19:52:14 +0000

Whew! This is something I have been privately grappling with for awhile. My husband makes more than 3 times as much as I do. He currently pays for our rent, utilities, cable and vacations. We have separate accounts. We also have a pre-nuptial agreement which stipulates that if we divorce, I leave with my money and he leaves with his. However, we understand that I might end up being a stay at home mother and have to quit my job in which case he will contribute to my retirement account and savings account the same as if I was working. In case of divorce, I get a small settlement to keep me going for a couple of months as well. I take care of the cleaning and other household duties. However, I feel unsettled by the prospect of perhaps relying too much on this lifestyle. I don’t actually spend very much on myself and I don’t expect my husband to shower me with gifts either which is why I save close to 40% of my gross salary. The rest of my funds are consumed with regular (small) spending and high taxes. I’m really hoping I can save enough to be financial secure without my husband and feel financial secure as a stay at home mom as well without having to act like a child asking for allowances. I think this situation of having a wealthy spouse can be very tricky. Gifts are never free!

By: What is Cool Around the Web : Real-Time Finance

What is Cool Around the Web : Real-Time Finance — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 10:16:10 +0000

[...] to money talk in relationships, is it “right” to have a 50/50 relationship?8. there should be a “minimum” when it [...]

By: Honey

Honey — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 20:16:32 +0000

My boyfriend makes about twice as much money as I do. We split the rent proportionally to our income since that is the biggest expense and then divide utilities, cable, etc. 50/50. He has billable hours at his job though, and works about twice as many hours a week as I do – so as an added deal between the two of us I do almost all the cooking and household chores (which is fine with me as I am a hobby cook and have a higher standard of clean than he does) and he pays for everything whenever we go out. This has not been a problem for us for the most part – there have been a couple of times where things get skewed one way or the other (usually he gets busy and we don’t go out for awhile) but then I am free to tell him that he needs to take me out more and he does :-) Works for us!

By: Carnival of Personal Finance #267 @ Beating Broke

Carnival of Personal Finance #267 @ Beating Broke — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 12:34:53 +0000

[...] Kristina from DINKS Finance presents A 50/50 Relationship. [...]

By: What is Cool Around the Web : Real-Time Finance

What is Cool Around the Web : Real-Time Finance — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 08:00:46 +0000

[...] when it comes to money talk in relationships, is it “right” to have a 50/50 relationship?8. There should be a “minimum” when it comes [...]

By: Tim

Tim — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 04:21:40 +0000

the notion of marriage for love and companionship is for poets. Marriage has always been about a consolidation of power, wealth, and status. a 50/50 relationship is more doomed to fail (look at our divorce rate) compared to non-equitable one (but define equitable please) if you look around the rest of the world. I do not know what it means when people say 50/50 relationship. i know of no marriage that is a 50/50 split. i would think that if you wanted to remain so independent you would remain single. the poets would suggest that you marry, because the other person makes you a better person, making up for your deficiencies in one area while enhancing in others and vice versa. we seem to get lassoed around the notion that an equitable marriage is equitable finances. Even the poets would disagree with that notion. i’m amused by how much we want to expunge the notion marriage is about the consolidation of wealth, power, and status, that we end up back to marriage being about equitable financial disposition.

i love the millionairematchmaker, and my wife and i constantly joke that if either one of us kick the bucket we will use the insurance money and call up Patty.

anyways, the reasons for marrying is a value judgment, and to criticize someone else’s reasons for marrying simply based on our own definition of marriage, seems disingenuous. the more important question is why you even care and why it even bothers you so much. if we focused on how we are doing, it doesn’t matter what others are doing—that is, unless you are trying to compare yourself with others. that isn’t healthy now is it?

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 20:13:53 +0000

I am a firm believer in equal contribution in a relationship. I do not like to feel “kept” by a man. I have always enjoyed earning my own money and contributing to finances in both of my marriages; I am recently divorced for the second time. I think equal contribution keeps things fair and reduces arguments about money.

By: danielle

danielle — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 16:14:09 +0000

the consistent trend atm among my female friends is almost exactly opposite of the article. they’re all on a very successful path (we’re all in our 30s now), where their guys are still “trying to find themselves” all the while not being able to pay the rent or bills. the women have to support them so it definitely goes both ways. so what about the guys who are being supported by their women as a mom figure? ew, but i mean, it happens! again, as martin and leslie say, child-parent relationship… definitely a GREAT topic of discussion!

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 15:38:43 +0000

But what about the men in these relationships? My honey makes more than I and is 10 years older than me (saving longer) and he has his own tastes and extravagences. He doesn’t blink at a $200 meal whereas I feel like I can’t afford it. Should being with me limit him? A good example is hotel rooms; he looks for comfort and then cost whereas I only look at cost. The first time we went out of town I insisted we split the cost which meant it had to be on my budget. This felt wrong even though I was trying to do the right thing.

I think 50/50 would be great but it limits who you can date in almost the same way marrying for money does. It is a type of dating within your class.