When the subject of money comes up, there is often conflict. Even when it isn't verbalized, there are often many arguments and subtexts that are rooted around financial issues.

Over the years we've blogged about a great deal of conflict related issues:

Avoiding Spousal Conflict around Money is really the best approach to take. You'll be happier, healthier, and better off for it. We tend to fall towards a mostly harmonious relationship around money, but this is largely due to our use of tools to neutralize the escalation of conflict. We also believe that compromise and freedom are good tools for reducing the potential of conflict. There will always likely be some couples conflict around finances, but it helps if couples are simply nice to each other and also learn to fight fair when issues do come up. We are also big advocates for pre-nuptial agreements, so check out our page dedicated to those. Some good resources include a great video from Kiplinger's.

Long Distance Marriage is also something that we've had experience with, while Miel was based in Afghanistan and traveling throughout Asia for more than a year. Thankfully our relationship fared extremely well, but that was due to a great deal of effort on both of our sides to make things work in a long distance marriage. We did have some conflict around whether or not to buy Miel a bullet proof vest.

Division of Finances is a huge topic of couples financial management. Everyone has their own opinions about how to do it the right way. From our experience it is a very personalized experience, where a couple much negotiate what works best for them at different stages in their relationship. For instance, we personally are advocates for independent management of finances, but we also recognize the virtues of joint accounts.

Budgeting can often create conflict as well. A couple we know had a funny example of how the wife thought that the husband had invented this new "scheme", when this "scheme" would otherwise be known as a standard budget.

Spending in general can also cause a great deal of conflict between couples. We generally advocate for more freedom and independence around purchases, but from time to time it is easy to get irked when one partner wants to buy something that the other doesn't feel is necessary. We've certainly had a few battles over spending. Overall we believe that Conscious Spending for Couples is the best way to go. There are, however, certain conflicts where it is best just to throw some money at the problem and be done with it.

Kids and Finances can also create a great deal of conflict. While we are Dual Income No Kids, we have enough family and friends with kids to consider and observe issues related to kids and finances. As we consider the possibility ourselves, this is something we blog about from time to time. It is important to consider what each partner's values are around kids and money, as they may differ more than you think.

Preventing Family Conflict Over Inheritance is an important subject that just about everyone has to deal with, whether or not there is money in the family. This can be even more of a touchy subject when there is a great deal of debt that is owed when someone dies. For James his family has had to deal with the unfortunate realities of what can go wrong when parents pass on.

Family Finance Conflict in general can be touchy, particularly with within your families of origin and the extended family that goes along with that. The close connection between family finance and couples finance is that we all tend to absorb a great deal of our relationship with money from our early financial influences in life. We've also faced some criticism around putting ourselves out there around finances with our personal finance blog.

Taking Financial Advice can also be a source of conflict. Whether it be from a financial adviser, a sibling, friend, parent, or co-worker, make sure that you that you are thinking straight. In the case of the personal contact there may be tension or resentment if the advice did not pan out as hoped. For a financial adviser you must be weary of there being a conflict of interest.

Consumer Conflict can also be an issue. For instance, we are advocates for reporting to the Better Business Bureau when necessary. We also have tips on what to consider when dealing with conflict around your home owner's association.

Cheers,

Miel&James